I Survived Being a Child with ADHD and Speech Delay, and Here's How I Did It (by Wolfram Tan)
As an 18-year-old Singaporean boy pursuing my Diploma, I may appear like any other teenager, but my journey has been far from ordinary. Behind my ordinary facade lies a story of resilience and determination, shaped by the challenges I've faced and overcome. My mom named me Wolfram, meaning "warrior" in a foreign language, and I've come to realize that it's a name that suits me perfectly.
I understand from my mom that I was not an easy birth due to the umbilical cord wrapping around my neck twice, which went undetected. The doctors tried various methods for a natural birth until my mom's water bag burst, and then they performed an emergency cesarean. It was only during the cesarean that the doctors realized the umbilical cord had wrapped around my neck twice, and they tried using forceps and other methods. I still wonder how I survived; it's a miracle.
Despite being born a week earlier than expected, my first two months were marked by frequent hospital visits due to UTI, dehydration, and fever. However, my health improved when I turned one. But soon after, my mom noticed some developmental delays that would change our lives forever.
She took me to a polyclinic, and we were referred to the KKH Child Development Centre. I was diagnosed with ADHD and speech delay at just two years old.
At two, a child normally can say "daddy" and "mommy" and single words, but I couldn't. It was a nightmare period; I had to rush from preschool to therapy sessions, and the distance was far. My preschool was in Jurong, and my therapy was in Outram Park. This nightmare lasted throughout my preschool journey. At nursery two, when I was four, I started talking. I attended a normal private kindergarten despite my developmental delays.
After preschool graduation, I went to a mainstream primary school. I couldn't attend therapy sessions due to school commitments, so the hospital discharged me.
Throughout primary school, I faced daily complaints from teachers who struggled to understand me. Despite my mom sharing my condition with my primary one teacher, I felt like I was constantly misunderstood.
Due to my frequent walking around in class, most teachers labeled me as a naughty boy. To their surprise, I was always one of the top students in tests and examinations.
The teachers didn't try to talk or understand why I behaved that way. I managed to calm down during primary three. My mom and grandmother, my main caregiver, constantly reminded me of right and wrong. I scored very well in the primary three examination, actually coming first in Science in the Primary 3 cohort. However, I have always struggled with Chinese. During one Chinese examination, I failed, and the teacher shamed me in front of the whole class. Out of anger, I told the teacher I hated Chinese and hated him. I was punished for that and had to write "I love Chinese" 100 times. Despite that, I managed to pass my PSLE with a score of 217 and went on to a Normal stream Secondary school.
In Secondary school, there were more subjects and more commitments. During Secondary 2, when choosing courses, I wanted to follow my peers and choose Pure Science and pure Mathematics. When I shared this with my mom, she asked if I was ready for the stress. She was okay with me taking combined Science as long as I was happy and able to cope. In the end, I took an extra subject combination of Mathematics, combined Science, and Electronics.
In Secondary school, I kept my condition private, but my form teacher in Secondary 1 and 2 often singled me out, humiliating me in front of my peers by asking me to leave the classroom.
I didn't dare tell anyone because I didn't want my mom to worry. At CCA, I was bullied by other students throwing stones at me. The turning point was in Secondary 3 when my Co-form teacher took the extra effort to understand me. There were times I stayed back in school and asked him questions I wasn't sure about, and he never turned me down. When he knew about my weakness in Chinese, he encouraged me to pass my O Level and then drop it if I wanted to, so it wouldn't affect my other subjects.
I just passed my Chinese O Level and immediately dropped it. I got a score of 11 for L1R5, which allowed me to make it to JC, but I chose not to and went for Polytechnic instead. I got into Singapore Polytechnic's Aerospace Electronics course and also signed up for the Singapore Youth Flying Club. I managed to get in, but there were many medical tests I needed to pass before I could join. Despite passing all the medical tests, I needed to go for an additional psychological test due to my childhood ADHD to prove that I was fit to fly a plane. The test was very detailed, and my IQ and EQ were very high, with traces of ADHD still present. I managed to get into the flying club.
Today, as I look back on my journey, I realize that my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I've learned to embrace my strengths and weaknesses, and to never give up on my dreams. To all the parents and caregivers of children with special needs, I want to say that I understand the struggles you face. But I also want to encourage you to never lose hope. With love, support, and determination, your child can overcome even the toughest challenges. And to my fellow warriors with ADHD and speech delay, I want to say that you are not alone. Keep pushing forward, and never let anyone define your limits.
